Let your Yes mean Yes and your No mean No!

I had a cyclical boiler maintenance check this morning.

I have a slight aversion to maintenance men coming to my home. They make me feel nervous. They always seem to leave carrying my money in their pocket after giving me bad news.

Anyway, Gary the Gas man isn't too bad, he comes every year and it was only a maintenance check so unless he was going to find some fault, there was nothing to worry about in terms of having to drag my money, kicking and screaming out of my credit crunched account.

When the maintenance check was over, Gary turned to me and said it's all ship-shape... but then he said d'you mind if I use your loo? I hesitated because I do mind and that's the answer I was hoping would come out of my mouth. Instead I heard myself say OK, the door on the left! What???? I meant to say I MIND, YES I MIND!! I immediately broke out into a cold sweat. I hate strangers using my toilet more than I hate maintenance men coming round. Once a stranger sits on my toilet seat, it's then relegated to a public convenience. I'd have to clean it and if my soul wasn't satisfied, I'd have to go to Argos to get a new toilet seat. This was a catastrophe!

In no time, Gary appeared. He didn't smell of soap so I'm sure he didn't wash his dirty digits. He handed me his piece of paper for my signature and then he left.

So where does that leave me? I'll tell you where that leaves me, it leaves me wearing pink bloody Marigolds and having to sort out the damage.

It's put me right off my croissant & tea.