How bad does it have to get before the ground opens up and swallows me whole?

In my last minute bid to buy Christmas presents, I went to Debenhams first thing this morning to avoid the Saturday crush. For some reason, I found myself drawn to things that had nothing to do with Christmas, presents and the act of giving. I was in the lady's coat section. I had my hand on a black coat and then I saw a beautiful blue one and low and behold, a red coat was calling my name so I tried it on.

I did my little twirly thing in the mirror and I thought I looked pretty hot in the coat that didn't yet belong to me.

As I was admiring the pretty coat, I heard a man say "that's nice, the colour really suits you sweetie". I was so happy that I immediately said "oh that's really nice of you" and while I was turning around to see who gave me this lovely compliment the words "...thank you" were coming out of my mouth too fast for me to stop them. To my horror, my eyes made four with a man who obviously wasn't paying a compliment to me at all. He was talking to the woman he was with!

Oh the shame of it. I was hot and embarrased and embarrassed and hot. The man who was offering compliments flushed bright red and the female recipient - the true owner of admiration gave me the most dramatic cat that got the cream look. I really had a strong urge to pull on her beige hair the smug cow!!!

Needless to say, I took off like a greyhound chasing a rabbit feeling the heat of shame all the way down the street. The nine mile drive home was conducted in silence. I normally pump up the volume in the car or listen to my Teach Yourself Spanish CD but on this occasion, I travelled home in mournful silence.

I should have known the man wasn't talking to me. I didn't even comb my hair this morning so I can't imagine what I was thinking to assume anyone was throwing compliments in my direction today.