I’m a fashion accessory… just like a pair of Jimmy Choo’s

Well if I’m to believe what some guys at work said recently, then yes, this is the case. I’m a damn man-bag.

Why am I like a Gucci bag or a pair of Manolo’s? I’m a black woman and as Alexei at work said, it’s the latest thing to have some black eye-candy on your arm if you’re a trendy young man, whether you’re gay or straight. Apparently, it's all the rage to have what D’Angelo sang about back in the day and it’s some Brown Sugar!

D'Angelo, Live on The Jools Holland Show @ The BBC



I had an interesting conversation with three guys at work on Friday. They’re all in their twenties and come from various places around the world. Alexei is Greek, Femi is Nigerian and Henrik is Norwegian. Now I wasn’t supposed to be a part of this conversation but my ears pricked up when Alexei said that he only dates black women and for the record, it’s stylish to do so. He said he’s always fancied black women anyway, but when he was younger, it didn’t seem quite so acceptable, but now, not only are black women fanciable but it’s cool to date them too. Femi said as a black man, he’s happy to date anything as long as they’re sexy and don’t talk too much. Henrik said that he also agrees with Alexei – he said he loves the idea of having a black girlfriend mostly because they’re so different to what he’s used to!

I had to butt in. I said to them I heard you lot, I’m not deaf. What’s all this fashion item bullsh*t? Do you really think that it’s fine to date black women simply because you think we’re “hip and cool”? Alexei and Henrik said no in unison and Femi said yes, that’s exactly what they’re saying! All three men looked at each other wide-eyed. Henrik and Alexei especially looked at Femi as if he’d stabbed them in the back.

Henrik said but don’t you think that’s a good thing? For so long, black women’s beauty, style and culture have been overlooked simply due to prejudice, ignorance and fear. He said you should be happy that white men are falling over themselves to date you! I said well I’m happy that there’s less prejudice around, but to be regarded as a fashion statement doesn’t make me feel good at all. Then Alexei said you shouldn’t worry about the reason, what you should concentrate on is the fact that it’s happening. At least you can pick and choose because you’re a well sought after commodity.

Commodity!! Jesus, what in the world… ?

Then Femi said look August, for a long time now, white women have had their pick of men, they’re idolised by black men, Asian men and now blond hair and blue eyed women are being bought in Dubai simply because of their looks, so you should at least celebrate this change of tide where for once, black women are now the ones being sought after.

To be honest with you, I didn’t lose or win the argument; I don’t even know if I made a point at all. I guess I was left feeling bewildered, in disbelief and suspicious!